It’s shitty. No one deserves it. Everyone experiences at some point and it sucks!The hard truth is, you will live through it, even if you don’t want to, and things do get better. There is no ‘quick’ way around it, no cure and no escape, just headlong
through the middle of it, gradually healing as you go along.

YOU WILL BE O.K
Repeat after me,
I WILL BE O.K
I WILL BE O.K

Hey! At least you’ll lose a few kilos!

If at first you don’t feel like getting out of bed, don’t. Sleep is good for healing. If you can manage a couple of days off from work to rest do so. It’s a bit
harder if you have kids as you will have to keep functioning to take care of them. This can be a good thing as well though as they will keep you going and you’ll sleep well at night with the exhaustion. Do not use them as confidants,it’s not their job. That’s what your friends are for. You mustn’t wipe your emotional feet on your children either; whatever you feel about ‘him’ your children are not your accomplices. Their self worth is closely connected to who he is, so running him down to them will hurt them deeply, even if you can’t see it and even if they are on your side. They love you that is what you need from them.

A couple of days in bed is fine but after that, you need to start functioning again. It will seem an impossible task to get out and do the things required of your day but it is what you need to do. Routine is what gets you through and every day you get behind you is one more in your time bank of healing.

In perfect circumstances, you’d avoid seeing or having contact with him for about a year (It’d take about that long for you to be objective anyway). This could be a difficult thing to do depending on where you live and what your situation is. If you have Children together, perhaps you could get a third party to go-between for atleast a couple of weeks (or Months). You probably don’t want to get other people involved but you have to put yourself first for a while. The Kids don’t need to be witness to teary confrontation or angry outbursts either.
You may be surprised at the emotion that comes over you at the sight of him.
Sometimes its anger, sometimes utter grief and sometimes its white cold. Whatever it
is you’re feeling, it’s not good for the children to see. They need you to be strong and to let them know you are there to look after them.

The better you handle yourself, the better you will FEEL about yourself!